It's been a week but the hurting persists.
So yes this is a rant.
I can't believe its been that fast,
but the fact remains, I flunked.
Please bear with me as I lick my wounds,
the pain's too much to withstand.
I smile but inside, I wish I could hide,
or run to be found be none.
It's been a week today since the results of the bar exams came out. I know I should be okay by now given the outpouring of love and support of family and friends but... Well, today, I met two people from the past.. A college friend and a college acquaintance. Both are lawyers. One is a clerk of court and the other is a prosecutor. All of a sudden it just dawned on me how poles apart we are..when it used to be that we all had just one dream....
Generally, in our culture, one attains the peak of his/her career in mid-30s. Those college friends are hence, at the peak of their careers... while I.. I am here exploring whatever career option remains for me.
No, I don't feel hopeless. But failure of any kind, especially severe ones (like flunking the bar) can truly dampen one's zest.
I know in due time, I'll get over this stage and be back on track.. In the meantime... I've a life to re-live plan..
Failures are more severe than achievements. Like the face of our beloved, failure comes haunting us in our solitude. But Max Erhman said:“If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.” Yes...in due time, just like any wound...this pain will heal. I suggest, you erase all these thoughts put magnificently perpetual to words because i know, when the time comes and you succeed, this will all be history.And yes...keep pondering further Erhman's lines (he himself was a lawyer)..."Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. "
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