Dumped

I got dumped…again. For the Nth time, I am amazed I still haven’t gotten used to the feeling, the pain, and the bitterness. It took me a long time and lots of hoping ‘n praying I’d find the one destined for me. I sought the help of friends and family members to help me seek the one who would stay and who’s also into long-term relationships. One who would be willing to stick it out for me through and thin. One whom I could also love and cherish and adore – and be proud of. One who’d stay with me until my golden years and take along wherever I go and watch my child grow and…perhaps be my soulmate?

But it isn’t a man I seek. It isn’t love either. All that I yearn for is a trusty, reliable, honest, and persevering --- kasambahay. I want one who would be with me on a long-term basis. I was seriously hoping for a “for-good” kind of term. I was definitely willing to give her all that was necessary to keep her --- provided of course that she’d give me what I deserved.

And so I thought I fin’lly found the ONE. Approximately forty days ago, she came into my (our) lives like a dream come true. The first few days were slow as we attempted to get to know each other better first. Yup, we tried to decipher each other’s personalities, preferences, and behavior. Each and every day there were “minor” bouts of shoddiness but I consciously and willingly ignored those thinking I was just being judgmental – again. Then on Monday night, she dropped the bomb. She was leaving me --- too.

I was appalled. Her pronouncement was something I least expected. Not at this time when I have just showered her with gifts (and happy moments) just last Christmas and not when I am about to leave again for a week-long seminar out of town. Gosh. Her announcement was painful, offensive, and totally unexpected.

Of course I sought an explanation. She first revealed she’s already “tired” with all the tasks I’ve assigned her to do. I asked which task exactly overwhelmed her. She didn’t elaborate but pointed out instead how bad she feels everytime I scold her or call her attention over something (she claimed “trivial”).

For the first time I didn’t know what to say. I was stupefied. (Definitely not in a positive way.)

I thought I was doing well. I thought I was being kind, patient, understanding, considerate, cool, persevering, timid..but no. She made me feel I was none of those.

I have made a routine of her expected daily tasks which I posted on the ref door. Those tasks are something I myself perform when I don’t have a helper. Since we got her, she has never completed any of those enumerated tasks. I didn’t mind. Occasionally I would call her attention to details like having to clean the ref to constantly check on food which are to become stale soon. Well, she never did. She only cooked what she felt like. Her stews are always too salty and so I asked her to forego the salt when she uses Magic Sarap to avoid putting in excessive salt in the dish – only to be told that she’s frustrated that I don’t like her cooking.

But yes, perhaps I have had unfair demands against her. I expected her to be efficient when efficiency isn’t everybody’s skill. I have expected her to be spontaneous when I myself am a scatterbrain. I expected her to employ her “common sense” whenever doing even the most trivial task when she is just getting to know our household.

But I am still bothered and perplexed that she called me a blabbermouth. It was a description I just couldn’t take. It only meant she understood none of what I said. All those bantering and hearty-talks meant nothing to her because all that she recalled were the moments when I was mean to her.

This incident taught me a few helpful insights though:

1) I can never please everybody all the time. At first I felt bad about my kasambahay’s nasty remarks but come to think of it, why would I let someone like her murder my self-esteem? True, initially she made me feel like I was the worst criminal who ever walked this part of the planet..but heck, I know that isn’t true. Her statement, her opinion, her standards DO NOT DEFINE ME. Therefore, why must I get affected? Even good people “get dumped.” It’s a reality we all need to contend with.

2) The rule of thumb still applies: always treat others the way you want to be treated. But – there’s a catch right there – do not expect other people will always return the favor. Hence, we better be prepared by anticipating the unlikely.

3) A kasambahay is a want – not a need. I will not be miserable without a kasambahay just as many households thrived and became happy and prospered without a kasambahay doing all the house-chores. Others have done it. So can I. If I find one who will want to stay for keeps, Imma lucky gurl. Otherwise, I’m still a lucky gurl!

So yes, I got dumped by a kasambahay -- again. But I am still alright. My worries are non-existent and everyday can only get better,

The Essential

As I was de-cluttering the house to get ready for the New Year, I realized I still had plenty of unused clothes. By unused I mean clothes I used to wear in the past but for some reason, I no longer feel like wearing again. Over the years, I have accumulated so much unnecessary garments in my longing to be back to my ideal weight. Sometimes I feel those clothes fit me but sadly, many of those don’t fit me well. Thus, the clothes I’ve collected over time grew and grew.

When I got to the shoe storage area of the house, I found out I have plenty of unused shoes as well. In 2013 alone I have purchased over ten pairs of shoes! Ten pairs of shoes! Wait, it was prolly more than that. And out of those ten pairs, I only get to use about three pairs the most. Most of the pairs are never easy to wear much more seem “wearable” after several wears.

Over-all, I felt guilty. The fact that I’ve spent a few thousand bucks over items which didn’t prove worth-spending meant I was an unwise spender.

Analyzing over my spending habits made me realize that most of the time, I would spend over stuff I don’t need because they’re usually on sale. Most of my clothes are thrift items. Meaning, I got ‘em cheap. And just because they’re cheap meant I could afford them. But those cheap items aren’t exactly the ones I need. But you see, thrift-shopping could be addictive. I could haggle sometimes and buy ten clothes at a time without feeling guilty for the splurge. Guiltless that is, until I find out how much of my clothes I don’t (and can’t!) use anyway.

The same habit goes for shoes. Oftentimes, I justify buying a new pair by citing how cheap my clothes are. Since I don’t spend much for clothes, I thought it okay to spend more for the shoes. Thus, I buy shoes whenever I see those red tags.

Those impulsive buys can never be justified -- especially for one who wants to make financial stability her goal. My make-up cabinet is also filled with so much unused stuffs. I have purchased one foundation after another. Yes I could justify that by claiming none of those seemed to work well for me but honestly, any of those works just as fine. The palettes I’ve collected are also excessive. Who needs seven palettes of neutral eyeshadows when I am not a make-up artist? I have five peach blushes, four pink ones, and three orangey ones. Gosh! So what do I do with over thirty-five tubes of lipsticks? Not to mention those in lip palettes too?

I guess it’s about time I should rationalize before I let go of my moolah. They say a penny saved is a penny earned. Since there’s no way I could squeeze in a part-time job right now means there’s no way I could get an additional income. Therefore, the only way I could increase my savings is by lessening my spendings!

I guess, this would do for a more realistic and attainable New year’s resolution. Every month I could make an “inventory” of all the stuffs I don’t need and find a way to give it away (or maybe sell it?). And everytime I feel like buying something, I should give it a rigid thought if it’s really something I need or something that’ll just satisfy my fleeting want. And perhaps, I should try to keep track of ALL my expenses too. It is imperative to know (and understand) where my money goes.

In these trying times, the calamities that hit us taught us many valuable lessons. Foremost of which is the worthlessness of material possessions. When we put so much value upon material things, we lose track of things of more value. And ironically too, none of those material things linger or even withstand the test of time. Clothes, shoes, makeup, none of those could endure when we are reduced to our bare state. In the end, the intangible, the unseen, are what matters most. The essential can never be quantified. Yes, clothes and other material possessions add color to our lives but what adds dimension is something that goes beyond what our eyes can see.

“What is essential, is invisible to the eyes.”

– “The Little Prince,” Antoine de Saint Exupéry

2014 Holidays

On the  first working day of the year, here's the list of holidays to give us something to look forward to again.  Heheh.

The following is a list of holidays for 2014, declared by virtue of Proclamation No. 655, s. 2013, unless otherwise specified:

January 1, 2014, Wednesday – New Year’s Day (Regular Holiday)

January 31, 2014, Friday – Chinese New Year (Special non-working day)

February 25, 2014, Tuesday – EDSA Revolution anniversary (Holiday for all schools)

April 9, 2014, Wednesday – Araw ng Kagitingan (Regular Holiday)

April 17, 2014 – Maundy Thursday (Regular Holiday)

April 18, 2014 – Good Friday (Regular Holiday)

April 19, 2014 – Black Saturday (Special non-working day)

May 1, 2014, Thursday – Labor Day (Regular Holiday)

June 12, 2014, Thursday – Independence Day (Regular Holiday)

August 21, 2014, Thursday – Ninoy Aquino Day (Special non-working day)

August 25, 2014, Monday – National Heroes Day (Regular Holiday)

November 1, 2014, Saturday – All Saints Day (Special non-working day)

November 30, 2014, Sunday – Bonifacio Day (Regular Holiday)

December 24, 2014, Wednesday – Additional special non-working day (Special non-working day)

December 25, 2014, Thursday – Christmas Day (Regular Holiday)

December 26, 2014, Friday – Additional special non-working day (Special non-working day)

December 30, 2014, Tuesday – Rizal Day (Regular Holiday)

December 31, 2014, Wednesday – Last day of the year (Special non-working day)

*Separate proclamations will be issued for the observance of Eid’l Fitr and Eidul Adha

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

As we face the great and beautiful possibilities 

that await us this year, I pray that none of the horror 

and the trauma that we went through in 2013 

will ever happen again. 

May the pain of those who have suffered much from tragedies (of any sort) be assuaged by the thought that they are not forgotten... that there is always hope. 

That even in the bleakest, saddest moment, 

God's love and mercy, endures.

May each of us remain steadfast in our quest 

to make this world a better and happier place for us 

and for our children...

May we become kinder and stronger and better each day. And may we always find a reason to smile, 

to be grateful, to be just.

Happy New Year family and friends! 

Thank you for being part of my life.