Loser

I promised myself sometime ago that I would do everything I can to resist from yielding to unhappy thoughts: thoughts that corrupt, thoughts that castigate, thoughts that rob me of a sense of well-being.  But ever so often, I fall pray. 

It's about time I embrace this truth. 

Right now, I feel as if I have lost my sense of direction.  My spirit is crushed.  My heart is in a wreck.  My mind is in a total quandary.  I'd like to proclaim myself guilty of being completely nasty, of having proved all abominable charges against me, true.

I am a loser. I am a failure.  I was told this state won't last forever.  Whom are they kidding?  At this point in time, I don't find hope anywhere I turn.  I feel numb.  I feel dirty.  I feel ugly.  

Please don't dare try to invalidate my feelings by saying anything right now.  Don't dismiss my lamentations either...

This is but an attempt to ease the pain of scourging...don't push me down further by uttering another word...don't.. else I just might pull this trigger!

Loser.-------->      :p