When Old Wounds are Ripped Open

I came home today to find a nasty remark posted in the FB wall of our relatives' group.  It read,

"I just noticed some people that were added to the group who I don't know. Please be mindful of who to add. This is not a group where any Tom, Dick and Harry can be part of. If you feel you need to introduce yourself please do so, otherwise I will demand from the admin to boot you out and send you to the moon. Yun lang."  

The remark came from a supposed cousin who is a prominent lawyer, a respected businessman, and a distinguished member of the society.  I've never met him.. In fact, I have never met all the 90+ members of the group--save for one "Ate" whom I have met a couple of times already... The rest are all strangers to me.

Seeing thus, such a nasty remark (although it wasn't clear if it was truly addressed to me), stirred my entirety.  My parents separated years ago (when I was 18).  My dad is from a far away province in Luzon while mom is from the Visayas.  We moved here when I was 5 and from that time on, I hardly knew anyone from dad's side of the family...furthered by they separation, 13 years after.

So when a cousin (the only one from dad's side whom I really, truly know), added me to this FB group of relatives (mostly cousins I was told), my paternal ardor was roused.  I thought it was a good way to start reaching out to that side of the family...

Until this...

Here are excerpts from that thread:

Original Post:

I just noticed some people that were added to the group who I don't know. Please be mindful of who to add. This is not a group where any Tom, Dick and Harry can be part of. If you feel you need to introduce yourself please do so, otherwise I will demand from the admin to boot you out and send you to the moon. Yun lang.

My replies:

Hello. I feel the "pasaring" hit me. It was primang XXXX who added me. My fullname is XXXX. Daughter of XXXX and XXXX. My dad is the youngest son of Lolo XXXX to Lola XXXX of XXXX City where I was also born. My father deserted us when I was 18 yrs old. I am the eldest in a brood of six daughters raised singlehandedly by my mother. Considering we moved here in XXXX when I was only 5yrs old, I hardly know relatives from dad's side. I have taken pride in being a "XXXX" (if only to honor our father) and have faithfully embraced that name by refusing to have any man give me a new one. I wonder if any of you here (save for Ate XXXX) knows my dad. (We hardly know him anymore ourselves). I have been mum all along, wary of everyone in this group because I admit, I DO NOT KNOW HOW I BELONG.. But since it was Ate XXXX who added me, and I admit I do yearn to keep intouch atleast with the XXXX-side of me, I lingered. I earnestly believed everyone here – was a relative. One day, I thought to myself, I’ll get to meet you guys, and we won’t be strangers anymore. I was trying to be modest.. the last thing I expected was to be ditched -- Or to read a “pasaring” as blatant and as hurting as this. Nevertheless, I realize everyone here is a stranger afterall. You have manifested it oh so bluntly 

But even strangers deserve some courtesy..

We have never denounced our dad, notwithstanding what he did. Neither have we closed our door to the XXXXes. Today however, our old wounds have been ripped open -- right when I thought, the scars have already erased the pain. That's the side of the XXXXes I will never understand -- when they treat "others" as lesser beings. 

 I and the rest of my sisters belong to the "others" who are unknown to you for reasons that were beyond our control. We did not cause this upon ourselves either... It hurts. But none of you, I understand, can sympathize with our pain. Yup, the admin may now boot me -- else i'll receive that very "unwelcome" tadyak. Goodluck. May the blessings of YOUR forefathers remain with you.

* The "tadyak" part refers to XXXX cousin's remark that he will not only have the "outsider" booted out but will also give the same a "tadyak."

I do not know why I am soo affected by his remark.  It was inappropriate, arrogant, and hurtful. I wasn't trying to create a mountain out of a molehill.  I just felt he/they need to know that people like us also exist -- unknown to the clan -- perhaps to remain this way forever --- But we are on this state not because we chose to, but because we fell prey to the circumstances caused by the sins of our fathers..