She's a Nonagenarian!

Mama is my grand-aunt.  But we call her "Mama" because thats what everyone calls her.  My grandparents married young (both 19) and my grandma was Mama's youngest sister.  Grandma and grandpa's marriage produced 12 (or 13) children and mom was the eldest.  Being a young couple, they had no choice but to seek help from their siblings then.  So Mama volunteered to take care of my young mom while grandpa and grandma sought a living in a different place.


Mama is an extraordinary woman.  She supported herself and earned an Education degree in one of the most prestigious universities in our place (same school I eventually went to in college).  She became a public school teacher almost right after she finished school.  She was a beautiful lass and had many suitors but she would have none of them as she was ardent at supporting the education of her younger siblings.  Before she reached 30, she discovered a lump in her left breast.  That was the first test of her courage..  At the time when mastectomy seemed like an alien procedure (that was 1950's), Mama went thru the knife and had her left breast removed.  She survived cancer.


She spent the next forty years of her life teaching in various public schools until she came home to retire in her home town.  Her retirement did not signal rest.  She went on to take care of her aging mother (my great-grandmother) until the latter died at the ripe old age of 113 (in March 29, 1998).  After that, Mama faced another challenge of attending to her younger brother who died of cancer as a bachelor.


I have spent all my life admiring the woman she is.  As a teenager who never had suitors then, I would jokingly tell her that I never wish to marry because she, being single, seemed happier than my mom (who was left by my dad when I was in college).  She would always object insisting that I will make a good mother and wife someday.

She was to turn 90 on January 20th.  Something she's really been looking forward to.  In our place, retired public school teachers would always gather at each other's birthday and exchange pleasantries.  Each birthday party is considered an opportunity for the oldies to commune with each other and recall fun times, discuss trivial matters, and simply catch up on each other.  This year, Mama was the first in their group to turn 90...there are four of them, all born in 1921, who were looking forward to celebrating their 90th year..


Last Monday though, January 18, Mama was greeted by an unhappy news.  Her bestfriend, Mrs. S, fell in the stairs of her house.  Mrs. S must have had a bad fall.  She fell unconscious and was consequently confined at the ICU.  Mama felt terrible.  She was looking forward to spending her birthday with Mrs. S who was also turning 90 next to Mama (her birthday is Feb. 8th).  So ever since Mama heard of Mrs. S' accident, she had been praying for her immediate recovery...


Came January 20th.  Mama was radiant as a bride in her white dress and also in her green dress (the one she wore to church to attend her birthday thanksgiving mass).  I did her hair and make-up.  Despite her blurry vision, and weak resonance, she managed to flatter us by saying it was her best and most awesome birthday party ever.. if only her bestfriend, Mrs. S was there to share her happy day...


Little did she know that prior to the cheers, the camaraderie, and the celebration itself, we (my aunts and mom) gathered in a tiny corner to hear an unhappy news delivered to us:  Mrs. S passed away at exactly 1055am of that day.


So the guests starting arriving (it was a luncheon party)... we greeted them and whispered Mama still hasn't been told of Mrs. S's death... The guests all connived so there was no mention of Mrs. S....  But before the party ended, Mama reached out to my mom and asked... "Is it true?  Inday Oping (Mrs. S) is gone?"  Mom, sadly confirmed the info.


Contrary to what we expected, Mama still stood tall. As if unaffected.  But her eyes welled.  We who knew her, were certain that she was holding back the tears.  But none of those fell.


After the guests have gone, we talked to her and asked if she's alright...  She said yes, she is alright albeit very sad about the demise of her bestfriend.  We told her we were very scared about how she'd react.  And her reply astonished us:  "I am very sad but today is my birthday.  You have all worked very hard to make this day wonderful and memorable for me...  I do not want to disappoint you.   Her (Mrs. S') death saddened me yes.  But others need not know of my grief.  I have done this before, and will stay this way.  I will grieve alone so none could partake of my sorrows.  I only wish to spread joy -- to friends, but most especially, to family."


I wonder if any of us could live up to Mama's virtues.  Her grace, her composure, her courage, her beauty and purity are truly a rarity.  She is an epitome of virtue.  Now, as a Nonagenarian,  Mama is a legend. A living proof that amongst us, can rise, someone truly extraordinary -- even at 90!