Making up my Mind

I made up my mind: I will conquer my fears.
No I am not strong, but being weak is never an option.

If I take the bar now, great odds are against me.
If I defer it, those great odds remain.
Plus two agonizing years of floating into nothingness.

There will be financial constraints. 
But bar or no bar,
financial constraints are always present.

Time is my greatest enemy right now.
But as it was said, "it's a matter of perspective."
Time can be my ally.

For now, I shall endeavor myself
into gathering all the positivity that I can collect.

I cannot afford to be weak,
I cannot afford to yield into negativity,
I cannot allow anxiety to defeat me.

So yes, I am making up my mind.
I will take the bar this year.
May the Good Lord bless me.