On Being a "Boxer"..

Nah, I don't mean, be like Manny Pacquiao.  Many men take pride in having a "boxer" for a wife.  And its not because she is more physically fit than others.  In fact, a "boxer" wife is one who is able to maintain a healthy bank account.  Why?  A "boxer" wife is able to get a good "grip" of her family's finances.  She'd never spend for anything unnecessary and sees to it that she has the cash to spend when the need arises.

For most of us, we fail, miserably, in handling our finances quite well.  It's one the most (if not by far, the MOST) important areas that we need to master in order to survive. But sadly, its a skill only few manage to hone and develop. 

I was looking at an article about the common reasons why marriages fail and the five reasons it presented are:

1. Unrealistic Expectations
2. Fear of Intimacy
3. Marrying too Soon
4. Lack of Communication
5. Lack of Trust.

While the article went on to explain each of these factors, it dawned on me all of a sudden that all those elements manifest themselves in one's inability to well, handle his/her finances.  When we have unrealistic expectations for example, we spend our money before we actually earn it.  Which is why, many drown in their credit card bills. 

The fear of intimacy also applies to financial matters.  By holding back on what we want, we mislead our partner.  I know of many married friends who are "afraid" to disclose to their husband that they want to buy this or that but end up buying it anyway, so much so that the husband, unwary that a purchase was made at his expense, ends up feeling duped. 

Marrying too soon could also indicate that one plunged into the marriage bandwagon without acquiring the necessary skills to survive a married-state.  One such skill is budgeting.  Running a household without a budget can have disastrous effects.  So for one who has not yet earned enough financial aptitude to live a state of normalcy, teaming up with one who has the skill can be a make-or-break affair.  The skillful can certainly train the unskilled, but what if the partnership is one where both of whom are unskilled? Disaster!

On the otherhand, lack of communication may well be the culprit not just for breakup of many marriages but for many misunderstandings in general.  A child who doesn't/couldn't explain why she needs a raise in allowance is most certainly not going to get that raise.  A husband who deliberately witholds a huge chunk of his salary inorder to get the gadget he is eying without explaining such need to his wife is guaranteed to get a good nagging.

And lastly, lack of trust can also translate to lack of self-confidence.  A confident person doesn't need to feed his ego with luxurious purchases to feel good about himself.  For one, a person who is buried in debt can hardly rest.  And peace of mind isn't sold anywhere.  By trusting ourselves enough to establish our confidence not on our material possessions but in the knowledge that we known where we're heading, we end up having happier, healthier relationships.


The bottom line in this litany is: we need to safeguard our finances at all times.  By holding on to our cash when we are tempted to spend (especially when such expenditure is totally unnecessary) we are able to keep our bank accounts healthy.

We can all train to become our own ideal "boxer."  No dog is too old to learn such a  trick skill.