Its been weeks. But I still hate myself whenever I remember my failure. I was told its normal to feel this way but why do I feel so neglected, so ashamed, and so hopeless still? My friends and classmates seemed to have move-on already and have even managed to pick themselves up so they've started reviewing again. Why can't I after all the encouragement I receive (and give)?
This failure has taught me so much about myself. While I detest fair weather friends, I realized that I happen to be my own fair-weather-friend myself. I like it when I know I did a great job. But I end up abhorring myself when things don't turn out the way I expect them to be.
Some friends and relatives have remained mum all this while. And yes, their coldness make me sick. While I try my very best to convince myself that things are not as bad as they seem, I still remain very suspicious. At the back of my mind, the nagging thought remains: they're laughing at my failure.
I do not see myself being something else but an attorney. But why does that seem sooo absurd?
Dear God please hold my hand. I am about to crumble..
No comments:
Post a Comment