Mommy-logues, V.1

Me:       I am worried about the workload coming my way.  It just never stops.

Mom:    Is there really alot to do?

Me:       Yup.  It’s never ending.

Mom:    Remember you are not paid by case.  You are simply to do what you can. Similarly, teachers are not paid by the number of board passers they taught.  Do what you can but don’t worry about what you can’t.  At the end of the day, marvel at what you’ve handled over the time spent away from your family.  What you’ve accomplished will be the feather on your cap.

(Doesn’t it feel good to realize you’ve a very sensible mom?  I know for sure because my mom is one. ;) 

Here I go!

Public service.

Just eight months. 

Short-lived romance.

Resignation or reconsideration?

Ah, my inspiration! 

You are my motivation.

So Kalibo, BRING IT ON!

My first Kalibo sunset.

Serving Two Masters...

Today’s flag ceremony was sponsored by the X Department and cited the observance of the Values Month.  One of the chiefs of the agency was made to discuss which value she esteems highly and would like others to also demonstrate.  She answered, “hard-work.”  She then discussed the importance of hard-work in accomplishing the tasks on hand.  Hard-work, according to her, is what brought her to her present position as well as those who are also now serving their high posts in the agency.

I looked around to see if any of my colleagues shared the boss’ sentiment.  I hardly saw any nod of agreement.  And I understand why.

The past few weeks since I started working in this esteemed institution, I have been in shock. But my acculturation isn’t over yet.  I am torn between adulation, confusion, frustration, as well as disillusionment.   

My adulation for the agency stemmed from the fact that everyone in the office literally labors hard.  Unlike my previous exposure in the Judiciary where employees waste their while most of the time, our government agency truly consists of hard-workers.  They don’t have siestas here, hardly rest even during lunch breaks, and seldom engage in any chitchat.  Their office hours do not begin at 8am.  Neither does it end at 5pm.  They are mindless of the time when they work.  Many even sleep in the office and stay late doing whatever needs to be done.

But that is why I am confused…

I am confused because being government employees, my colleagues know that they don’t get overtime pay.  And yet, they work unmindful of the clock.  They even work on weekends.  I’ve been told that this while they are not being forced to work this much, they feel a strong sense of obligation nevertheless to work hard and finish their tasks as soon as they else, they will have compounded tasks.

Being such, my co-workers don’t get to spend much time anymore with their families.  Many mothers leave their children to the care of others, a nanny or a close relative who is their substitute.  And I am frustrated.

I thought a career is important because it is where a parent can earn subsistence to support his family.  But if a career becomes this demanding, will the financial (or even professional) rewards outweigh the neglect and absence that the family has to naturally suffer brought about by an unavailable parent?

I do not know well my colleagues yet.  I have no idea how they raised their children or if they are happy and content with their family lives.  But at this stage of my adjustment, I am already disillusioned.  I cannot comprehend how a mother can remain active, available, and responsible to her children and at the same time manage a “fulfilling,” successful, and “happy” career in this work environment.  True, one may lead a successful career, earn the respect and reverence of colleagues and the society, and even be recognized by the world as a model employee…but if she fails at her God-given task of being a good and responsible parent, will all those successes be enough?

I once remember someone saying somewhere that “no amount of success outside can compensate for one’s failure at home.”  I believe that with all my heart.  Even the scriptures warn that “One cannot serve two masters at the same time…” (Matthew 6:24). 

I do not wish to preempt anything.  I just wish to remain steadfast in my convictions.  So if time would come when I must choose which master to serve, I most definitely will choose the career where I will never retire, will never be promoted, will never be paid: that of being a parent.

Bureaucracy

Its been a month since I began my work as a full-fledged public servant. The acculturation process is slow, exciting, nerve-wracking and also, intimidating. But amid all the anxiety, confusion, fears, and negativity, I am happy to enkindle a budding sense of pride to belong to an agency that literally labors hard to further the causes of the hardworking Filipino. Lord, help me remain serene so that in everything I do, I may bring delight to You...

Of Men and Mice

Guys like us, that work on ranches, are the loneliest guys in the world. They got no family. They don’t belong no place. . . . With us it ain’t like that. We got a future. We got somebody to talk to that gives a damn about us. We don’t have to sit in no bar room blowin’ in our jack jus’ because we got no place else to go. If them other guys gets in jail they can rot for all anybody gives a damn. But not us. (George to Lennie, Of Men and Mice, John Steinbeck)

I met a mouse in a barong yesterday.  At a glance, he didn't resemble a mouse at all.  He looked dapper in his outfit.  He held a leather briefcase, shiny, well-polished shoes, fresh haircut, and a very masculine perfume.  The guy was in his 30s.  He came late but strutted with confidence when he barged into the venue.He was the counsel for the plaintiffs in a case referred to me yesterday.  It involved a problem of four siblings suing their elder brother whom they claim to have robbed them of their inheritance.  They were men in their 50s. When they sat with me at the proceeding, they came with their lawyers.  The defendant's lawyer (not a mouse) was elderly... Perhaps in his 60s now, he still looked very dignified, warm, polite, and spoke in measured speech.


Much has transpired between the parties and I can only read through their statements.  Both plaintiffs and defendant were in so much pain.  They could even hardly look at each other.  My task as Mediator primarily entails that I seek any possible settlement without the parties entrusting the fate of their case to the court. The plaintiffs' sole concern was to get the property which is now solely under the defendant's custody.  They explained to me how their elder brother has tricked them into transferring the property to his name and how one thing led to another to the point that each party claims to have been harassed by the other's goons.


My chest was pounding as I was sitting there listening to them.  These are men who came from the same brood.  Honorable men in fact because one was a retired colonel in the army, another a politician, an accountant, a university president, etc...  But there they were hurling the most hurtful accusations they could muster against each other.   I asked them, "Has there ever been a time when you sat to discuss the problems with each other?  Perhaps confronting the real issues?"  Unanimously, they admitted that no such circumstance was given them in the past.  So I proposed, "What if we do that now?  Yes, we can revert this matter to the court and let it decide, albeit uncertain on whose side the court will favor..but if we do that... wounds will never heal.  In fact, deeper and newer hurts will arise because you allowed yourselves to be robbed of the chance to settle your issues amicably."  I gave such proposal in caucus.  With the plaintiffs apart from the defendant.  The defendant, being the elder brother that he is, conceded.  He wanted to talk to his younger siblings...  But the plaintiffs refused.


Because of their lawyer!


The plaintiffs' counsel insisted there is simply no point in trying to make the parties reconcile.  The case has dragged, according to him, and if I let them sit and discuss their issues, I might be putting myself in trouble (he probly thought I am just too frail to be between the clashing men).  The defendant's counsel on the other hand did persuade the elderly brother that yes, it is worth a try.  Perhaps, he said, it could be the first and only step to their reconciliation...


As expected, the Plaintiffs' counsel did succeed in convincing his clients that the more prudent recourse is to simply have the matter reverted to the court.  Being a mouse, he knows, if his clients' problems is settled, he will then be left scouring for other clients. I swear I wanted to punch that man's face right there and then.


I could not quite reconcile how some lawyers like that mouse manage to treat matters of their clients like ordinary business opportunities!  His clients and their opponent are siblings!  How could he allow, without any trace of sympathy and compassion, his clients to ignore their brother's attempt to break down the walls of indifference between them and finally put their grievances to rest?


It was a gut-wrenching and heart-breaking experience for me.  They were total strangers. Perhaps people I will never ever meet again.  But it did pain me so much to realize how some selfish, greedy, mouse dressed in a barong and whom everyone calls an attorney, make warring families shun peace and forgiveness.


Now you know why I call him a MOUSE.  Mice, unlike men, exist in a rat-race.  They are unfeeling.  Wary only of their personal survival. As George above aptly expressed, "If them other guys gets in jail they can rot for all anybody gives a damn." That mouse thrives in a rat-race existence.  And I confess, I pity him.  He is lonely and greedy.  He may have many clients, earn much and amass fortune, but he will always be a mouse.  Because he prays on his clients.  And deserted his humaneness.


The world needs men, not mice. The legal profession needs me.




P.S.  Pardon my immodesty.