The Essential

As I was de-cluttering the house to get ready for the New Year, I realized I still had plenty of unused clothes. By unused I mean clothes I used to wear in the past but for some reason, I no longer feel like wearing again. Over the years, I have accumulated so much unnecessary garments in my longing to be back to my ideal weight. Sometimes I feel those clothes fit me but sadly, many of those don’t fit me well. Thus, the clothes I’ve collected over time grew and grew.

When I got to the shoe storage area of the house, I found out I have plenty of unused shoes as well. In 2013 alone I have purchased over ten pairs of shoes! Ten pairs of shoes! Wait, it was prolly more than that. And out of those ten pairs, I only get to use about three pairs the most. Most of the pairs are never easy to wear much more seem “wearable” after several wears.

Over-all, I felt guilty. The fact that I’ve spent a few thousand bucks over items which didn’t prove worth-spending meant I was an unwise spender.

Analyzing over my spending habits made me realize that most of the time, I would spend over stuff I don’t need because they’re usually on sale. Most of my clothes are thrift items. Meaning, I got ‘em cheap. And just because they’re cheap meant I could afford them. But those cheap items aren’t exactly the ones I need. But you see, thrift-shopping could be addictive. I could haggle sometimes and buy ten clothes at a time without feeling guilty for the splurge. Guiltless that is, until I find out how much of my clothes I don’t (and can’t!) use anyway.

The same habit goes for shoes. Oftentimes, I justify buying a new pair by citing how cheap my clothes are. Since I don’t spend much for clothes, I thought it okay to spend more for the shoes. Thus, I buy shoes whenever I see those red tags.

Those impulsive buys can never be justified -- especially for one who wants to make financial stability her goal. My make-up cabinet is also filled with so much unused stuffs. I have purchased one foundation after another. Yes I could justify that by claiming none of those seemed to work well for me but honestly, any of those works just as fine. The palettes I’ve collected are also excessive. Who needs seven palettes of neutral eyeshadows when I am not a make-up artist? I have five peach blushes, four pink ones, and three orangey ones. Gosh! So what do I do with over thirty-five tubes of lipsticks? Not to mention those in lip palettes too?

I guess it’s about time I should rationalize before I let go of my moolah. They say a penny saved is a penny earned. Since there’s no way I could squeeze in a part-time job right now means there’s no way I could get an additional income. Therefore, the only way I could increase my savings is by lessening my spendings!

I guess, this would do for a more realistic and attainable New year’s resolution. Every month I could make an “inventory” of all the stuffs I don’t need and find a way to give it away (or maybe sell it?). And everytime I feel like buying something, I should give it a rigid thought if it’s really something I need or something that’ll just satisfy my fleeting want. And perhaps, I should try to keep track of ALL my expenses too. It is imperative to know (and understand) where my money goes.

In these trying times, the calamities that hit us taught us many valuable lessons. Foremost of which is the worthlessness of material possessions. When we put so much value upon material things, we lose track of things of more value. And ironically too, none of those material things linger or even withstand the test of time. Clothes, shoes, makeup, none of those could endure when we are reduced to our bare state. In the end, the intangible, the unseen, are what matters most. The essential can never be quantified. Yes, clothes and other material possessions add color to our lives but what adds dimension is something that goes beyond what our eyes can see.

“What is essential, is invisible to the eyes.”

– “The Little Prince,” Antoine de Saint Exupéry

On Billy Crawford and Nikki Gil's Separation

But sometimes, it is in allowing someone to embrace our brokenness too 

that we become "whole.." 

Sometimes, it is in letting that one willing soul to help us 

pick the broken fragments of our self-worth 

that we start seeing a better version of ourselves. 

We maybe hurting that person, 

but being accepted over and over again, we are saved. 

Yes, sometimes, letting go seems the best option. 

But sometimes, holding-on Billy... 

to the point of unreasonableness, 

is the only way to go. 

My heart bleeds. 

But I still insist on happy-endings.

When I am Old and Grey

When I am old and grey, I still wanna do this...

Walk along the beach, frolic in the summer heat,

Perhaps (but not necessarily) in a purple two-piece,

Hopefully alongside also my sweet. ;-)

(-shot  in Boracay, date indicated)

On Changing my Religion

"If I had to change my religious beliefs, I would not marry the person that I love because the first person that I love is God who created me and I have my faith and my principles and this is what makes me who I am. And if that person loves me, he should love my God too."

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                                                  -Miss Universe 2011 3rd Runner-Up, Shamcey Supsup's answer when asked by pageant judge, Vivica Fox if she would change her religion to marry the man she loves.

Shamcey delivered her answer with full conviction.  And she was impressive.  All throughout the pageantry, she has been very vocal in expressing her faith.  I cannot help but admire her.

I on the other hand, would choose to take the opposite stand: that of changing my religion to marry the man I love.  Religion, to me, is just a label.  I'd like to think all men share a common faith. So changing a religion could not be synonymous with rejecting my faith in the Great Almighty.  No religion is ever complete.  Neither is there any that would guarantee eternal salvation.  But love -- in its truest and purest sense -- is always good.  It is the greatest neutralizer.  The ultimate healer.  The essence of our earthly existence.

One of my favorite verses in the Bible is the dialogue of Ruth and Naomi:

When Naomi heard in Moab that the LORD had come to the aid of his people by providing food for them, she and her daughters-in-law prepared to return home from there. ⁷ With her two daughters-in-law she left the place where she had been living and set out on the road that would take them back to the land of Judah.
 ⁸ Then Naomi said to her two daughters-in-law, “Go back, each of you, to your mother’s home. May the LORD show you kindness, as you have shown kindness to your dead husbands and to me. ⁹ May the LORD grant that each of you will find rest in the home of another husband.”
   Then she kissed them goodbye and they wept aloud ¹⁰ and said to her, “We will go back with you to your people.”
 ¹¹ But Naomi said, “Return home, my daughters. Why would you come with me? Am I going to have any more sons, who could become your husbands? ¹² Return home, my daughters; I am too old to have another husband. Even if I thought there was still hope for me—even if I had a husband tonight and then gave birth to sons— ¹³ would you wait until they grew up? Would you remain unmarried for them? No, my daughters. It is more bitter for me than for you, because the LORD’s hand has turned against me!”
 ¹⁴ At this they wept aloud again. Then Orpah kissed her mother-in-law goodbye, but Ruth clung to her.
 ¹⁵ “Look,” said Naomi, “your sister-in-law is going back to her people and her gods. Go back with her.”
 ¹⁶ But Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. ¹⁷ Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.” ¹⁸ When Naomi realized that Ruth was determined to go with her, she stopped urging her.

Ruth embraced Naomi's faith -- perhaps because of a great inexplicable force that also guided her.  Kahlil Gibran, the great Lebanese writer wrote in his book, "The Prophet":

When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, "I am in the heart of God."  And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

I take pride in Shamcey's victory. And I adore her straight forward answer at the question-and-answer part. She did us all very proud.  I delight in being a citizen of this mostly Catholic country.  But like her, I share my thoughts...

For when "love beckons, I eagerly follow."  Although yes, his ways may be hard and steep...

Rainbow Connection

'Twas drizzling lightly one afternoon (half past 5 already) when I chanced upon this lovely sight:

Yes. Rainbow! For the first time in a long time, I have not had the privilege of seeing a rainbow.  And this is the first time I was actually able to capture its image.

Ahh..breathtaking!

All of a sudden, I realized how mundane my existence has been the past many years now.  When I was a kid, I have always been thrilled at the sight of the rainbow.  When adult life started taking its toll on me, I began to shift my attention to more "serious" things.  And what did it make of me? One mundane existence -- one bereft of simple joys such as..well, seeing a rainbow!  What went wrong?  Was I too distracted (like those ugly cable wires dangling, and old cityscape tainting the beautiful scenic sky)?  Or was my focus elsewhere?

I am now in my mid-30s and on my last birthday, I did heave a sigh of meek sadness and despair.  I've come a long way in this rat-race existence but no, I'm not exactly FULFILLED.

Perhaps, its about time I slow down a bit...to smell the roses and yes, notice rainbows as breathtaking as this...

Afterall, didn't they say life begins at 40 yet? ;-)

On Being a "Boxer"..

Nah, I don't mean, be like Manny Pacquiao.  Many men take pride in having a "boxer" for a wife.  And its not because she is more physically fit than others.  In fact, a "boxer" wife is one who is able to maintain a healthy bank account.  Why?  A "boxer" wife is able to get a good "grip" of her family's finances.  She'd never spend for anything unnecessary and sees to it that she has the cash to spend when the need arises.

For most of us, we fail, miserably, in handling our finances quite well.  It's one the most (if not by far, the MOST) important areas that we need to master in order to survive. But sadly, its a skill only few manage to hone and develop. 

I was looking at an article about the common reasons why marriages fail and the five reasons it presented are:

1. Unrealistic Expectations
2. Fear of Intimacy
3. Marrying too Soon
4. Lack of Communication
5. Lack of Trust.

While the article went on to explain each of these factors, it dawned on me all of a sudden that all those elements manifest themselves in one's inability to well, handle his/her finances.  When we have unrealistic expectations for example, we spend our money before we actually earn it.  Which is why, many drown in their credit card bills. 

The fear of intimacy also applies to financial matters.  By holding back on what we want, we mislead our partner.  I know of many married friends who are "afraid" to disclose to their husband that they want to buy this or that but end up buying it anyway, so much so that the husband, unwary that a purchase was made at his expense, ends up feeling duped. 

Marrying too soon could also indicate that one plunged into the marriage bandwagon without acquiring the necessary skills to survive a married-state.  One such skill is budgeting.  Running a household without a budget can have disastrous effects.  So for one who has not yet earned enough financial aptitude to live a state of normalcy, teaming up with one who has the skill can be a make-or-break affair.  The skillful can certainly train the unskilled, but what if the partnership is one where both of whom are unskilled? Disaster!

On the otherhand, lack of communication may well be the culprit not just for breakup of many marriages but for many misunderstandings in general.  A child who doesn't/couldn't explain why she needs a raise in allowance is most certainly not going to get that raise.  A husband who deliberately witholds a huge chunk of his salary inorder to get the gadget he is eying without explaining such need to his wife is guaranteed to get a good nagging.

And lastly, lack of trust can also translate to lack of self-confidence.  A confident person doesn't need to feed his ego with luxurious purchases to feel good about himself.  For one, a person who is buried in debt can hardly rest.  And peace of mind isn't sold anywhere.  By trusting ourselves enough to establish our confidence not on our material possessions but in the knowledge that we known where we're heading, we end up having happier, healthier relationships.


The bottom line in this litany is: we need to safeguard our finances at all times.  By holding on to our cash when we are tempted to spend (especially when such expenditure is totally unnecessary) we are able to keep our bank accounts healthy.

We can all train to become our own ideal "boxer."  No dog is too old to learn such a  trick skill.