In Pursuit of my Childhood Dream

I do not know how it exactly began.  But it was certainly a childhood dream. A dream I kept and nurtured in my heart for 26 years.. a dream I wrote at the wall of our house then---when I was ten years old  – CWTBALS (Cheng Wants to be a Lawyer Someday).

The graffiti I made at the wall of our old house when I was ten years old..
This picture was taken shortly before the wall was dismantled to give way for the  reconstruction.

It read, CWTBALSD: Cheng Wants to be a Lawyer Some Day

I took up Education in college not so much because I wanted to be a teacher.  I planned on becoming a teacher first so I could study law at night and be on my way of attaining my dream of becoming a lawyer.  But of course, life wasn’t that easy.  As the eldest, and with my mom raising all six of us single-handedly, I had to help her send my five other younger sisters to school.  I went on to take my Masters first (because Graduate School had classes on weekends only) because having one promised a better salary scheme.  So right after I finished my masters, I excitedly plunged into Law School…

I didn’t realize it would be very difficult.  I was so used to breezing through my studies.  I hardly had a well-established study habit.  Thus, going through law school as a full-time faculty in the undergrad and as a fulltime law student as well was a very excruciating struggle.  But I was racing against time.  I vowed it was my last stake at “life”.  If I won’t set my heart to finish it on time, I would probly never have the guts and the persistence to try anymore in the future. 

Taking the bar also took a lot of courage.  Mama, my great grand-aunt, was slipping away slowly… She was among my fortresses of strength (aside from my immediate family).  Early on in life I have set out to offer her my successes because I am well-aware of how badly my failures have hurt her.  I couldn’t fail..

So now here I am.. In my moment of waiting.  I did not expect it would be this agonizing.  My future depended on this. This was a childhood dream… Truly one I have yearned for.  The only vision that has sustained me all throughout my life’s deepest, darkest, starkest moment was the day when I will finally be able to attach that coveted “ATTY” to my name. 

It is for my family.  For Mama who has devoutly and persistently prayed every single day.. spending hours before the image of the Blessed Virgin in our garden..beseeching the Almighty to  help me become an Attorney.  For Mom who has gone through so much – sacrificing and struggling for us all.  For her unwavering faith that notwithstanding our unhappy and painful past, a beautiful happy future awaits us.  For my sisters who have supported me and loved me unconditionally…  For my family who gave me a new lease on life.  For the Almighty who has sustained me..

I pray for more strength for God to grant me the courage and the serenity to accept my destiny.

Lord, All Glory are Yours forever.. 

AMEN.