Whew! So it's been a month already since my last post?  How fast indeed time flies!  Christmas 2011 was among the best that we had because all my siblings were home to celebrate the holidays with us.  Times like those are getting more and more rare now considering we are carving our niches in different far apart places  under the sun. So now that the hustle and bustle of the holidays are over, we find ourselves back to the confines of our individual lives.  Apart. Separate. Distant.

When we were younger we hated each other.  Lol. Well, not really.  For the most part, we were each other's bestfriend, confidante, counselor, warrior, cheerleader, accomplice, persecutor, prosecutor, storyteller, baby-sitter, and the list goes on and on.  But at times when we disagreed, we also fought like mad dogs.  And that was when we would wish to get out of the family's enclave. Very few times, but we all remember them.

As grown ups now, we have pursued different paths in life.  We have also discovered/ built our individual sources of happiness.  And yet, there are times we still yearn...crave...long to be together.  The security, confidence, and strength that comes from our togetherness is incomparable.  It's weird.  It's something nobody (not even Mom perhaps or any of our husbands) would ever understand.

My siblings and I have surmounted the deepest depth, the worst worse, and the most painful hurt.  Perhaps that's what sealed our bond.  We know exactly how to raise each other up --- or push each other down.

At this point in time when each of us is still struggling to pursue our dreams, we remain united -- in thoughts, in prayers, in heart.  Yes, we still hurt each other every now and then.  Afterall, we have sort'v mastered the art of being each other's antidote because we are one another's bitter pill.  But our hurts always yield to acceptance, to forgiveness.  And everytime we reconcile, our bond is renewed... Always stronger than it ever was before.

Apart in space, united in spirit.

Our latest family pic taken in Dec. 26, 2011.

With the Wonderful Additions to the Family

Inspirer of my mind, consoler of my heart,

healer of my spirit,

Their presence lift me from earth to heaven,

Their words flow as the sacred river,

Their faith rise as a divine spring,

Their tender feelings awaken sympathy in my heart.

My Family -- Their very being is forgiveness.

The clouds of doubt and fear

are scattered by Their piercing glance.

All ignorance vanishes in Their illuminating presence.

A new hope is born in my heart

by breathing Their peaceful atmosphere.

They are my inspiring Guide through life’s puzzling ways,

in Them I feel abundance of blessing.

(adapted from the Prayer Pir written by Hazrat Inayat Khan)

Nurturing the Spirit of Christmas

From a distance I saw hands waving, as if beckoning us to come nearer. Then, more hands emerged from the cells… but looking closely, I realized they were actually signs of dirty fingers. My disappointment was increasing, and my OH MY GOD! My Christmas cheer was suddenly drowned in the yells and screams of the inmates.

This was the scene that greeted us more than 10 years ago when one Christmas my mother decided that we go to the rehabilitation center to share the little that we have to the inmates..

I was teary-eyed. I have vehemently protested to the idea that we spend our Christmas there. Yuckkk! The idea, albeit noble, did not appeal to me or to my sisters. But mom insisted that we see Christmas in the eyes of the men and women whose lives have been blemished with crime, whose eyes have been dimmed by frustrations, whose manhood have been scarred by anger and whose hope have been killed by despair.  Will they ever feel the Christmas spirit?

The nasty remarks became louder as we approached them. It was as if it was the first time they get to see “outsiders” after many days of their confinement. They insinuated lust, greed, and thrill -- as if we could finally quench their hunger for that which quite seemed hard to decipher…

My heart went heavy, heavier than the loads of gift my hands were carrying and I am sure, my sisters felt the same or even worse.

The gift giving was an ordeal for us, trying to smile despite our disdain. No, it wasn’t disdain. We loathed it!!! And all those things did not pass unnoticed by Mom, who herself tried to expedite the activity so that we could leave the place as soon as we can.

Upon returning home, we confronted Mom regarding the risk she took for bringing us there.  Amidst the arrogant and rude prisoners, we did not see the spirit of giving or of Christmas.  For when one is assaulted, how can the essence of giving and sharing be felt?

Mom’s reply was simple: if we only love the lovable, that doesn’t make us distinct.

More than a decade had passed and now I work for the reconciliation of people who are divided by their claims of justice or by the assertion of their rights as a Court Annexed Mediator.  I still sigh at the thought of a broken friendship because of a check that bounced or a nasty gossip relayed. I get sad when siblings cannot agree on their inheritance and insist instead on breaking their family ties.  And I am further dismayed when I meet a parent accused for stealing something so she could feed her children.

Then I have come to realize that many of us languish in self-imposed prisons.  For we may be surrounded by people but feel completely alone.  Like those detainees in prison, we find ourselves subjected to undue discrimination, to painful debasement, to harsh and cruel judgment. In the real world, no quantum of evidence is necessary to prove our guilt.  People can be mean.  We become guilty as charged.

At times like these, my thoughts go back to that Christmas morn spent in the penitentiary.  If we love only the lovable, what does that make us? If we shun the world because we feel it owes us a lot, how do we get to see the very reason why God sent His Only Son?

Each of us is significant. Lovable or not before the eyes of men, we are all lovable before the eyes of our Creator.  God does not discriminate.  He even sent His Only Child so we may be saved.  We are THAT significant – to Him. 

The Christmas Spirit is here to stay – because as constant as the rising sun, God’s love for us is also constant.  May that knowledge guide us to doing what we can to spell a beautiful difference in each other’s lives.  Afterall, we all affect each other.  For as John Donne wrote,

“No man is an island,

Entire of itself.

Each is a piece of the continent,

A part of the main…

…for I am involved in the mankind.

…therefore, send not to know,

for whom the bells toll,

It tolls for thee.”

Happy Christmas everyone!

Nota Bene: This article was written for the Christmas Newsletter of our parish, the St. Michael the Archangel Parish.  Such newsletter is yet to come out sometime this month.  I am posting it here in my blog for posterity and reference.

For Mama

Every Christmas, Mama (my grand-aunt) takes time to make our Belen (tableau) at home.  A perpetual bachelorette, she has devoted much of her life serving the church any way she can.  I grew up to finding her spend many late nights decorating our parish church for Christmas (and yes, also for the Holy Week).  Year after year, she intricately designed the tableau at the altar of our tiny parish.  And every morning, at the dawn masses, she would proudly point to us her work in progress.  True enough, on Christmas day, Mama feels like a celebrant herself, as people flock to the church to pay respects to the Baby Jesus who rests comfortably on the crib which Mama painstakingly made, designed, and decorated.

Now a nonagenarian, Mama cannot see anymore.  But she still gushes at the thought that we have maintained her tradition of a Belen showcasing the Baby Jesus (from Vatican) given to her by a nun-friend many, many years ago. She nags knowing I have yet to make a sash with “Gloria In Excelsis Deo” on it to be hung at the Belen.  And at dawn, we still awake to find her saying her rosary in front of such tableau.

While Christmas may be the season to celebrate the birth of Jesus, I am more inclined to thinking of this season to celebrate the unconditional love we each receive from the people around us. I believe it is the essence of Christ’s birth – God’s unconditional love for humanity and Christ’s unconditional love for His Divine Father which prompted Him to surrender Himself completely to His Will.

Mama is one such woman.  Albeit bereft of a spousal love, she has deviated from the usual spinster-stereotype of a resentful, indignant woman.  She was never bitter about marriage even when her own favorite niece’s marriage didn’t work.   She is all-giving, and maintained a happy and spontaneous disposition even in her old age.  When she was still more mobile, she roamed the houses of her godchildren even  in the far barrios, to greet them on Christmas morning and give her simple present o f a toy or a shirt.  And she found such task undaunting even when it entailed having to collect our very own stock of groceries at home to give to her “less-fortunate” godchildren and friends.

Mama’s simplicity, generosity, and faithfulness continue to stir all those who know her.  She relishes the unexpected visits of friends, grieves silently at the death of another, and vows to pray for the fast recovery of an ailing amiga.  She still sets aside a cracker or a slice of bread to give to an apo who comes to her seeking to be consoled.  And she spends hours and hours and hours each day mumbling her prayers to each of the Saint she maintains in her collection. She explains that those Saints(all of which were given to her as gifts) were given to her for a divine reason. And the least she can do is pay respects to them by praying for them individually. 

She has not let her frail body and bare vision corrupt her disposition to continually spread good cheer to all who surround her.  She eagerly anticipates the Minister who gives her communion every Sunday.  She sits by her grotto and finds a calm delight caressing Mama Mary’s hands. All these she does with complete awareness that she has reached the twilight of her years.

We are glad to have one such woman in our midst.  This Christmas, we bask in the love that can only come from God’s eternal love for us – and for Mama’s unconditional love for us, unwavering faith in the good of all, and her steadfast dedication to the Church. 

Merry Christmas Mama. You are God's gift to us.

Ressurected

Its been a while.  Thanking God I'm back.  

Hoping to hang out here more often henceforth.

=)

Milo Marathon 2011 (Iloilo City Leg)

The starting line was infront of WVSU
along Luna, La Paz.

Twas the day we swam ran in a sea of green. Milo Marathon is the biggest, longest, and perhaps, the grandest running event in the country.  We chose to join the 5km - Fun Run as the more serious categories (10k and 21k respectively) were out of our league.  I hardly jog, nor do I engage in any fitness activity (ain't it obvious?heheh..)

The little boy who was up by 3am
just to be sure he gets to the race on time.

The sea of green filling Bonifacio Drive.

Crossing the bridge leading to the Sports Complex
 (the finish area).

Isn't that long stretch of people filling Gen. Luna St lovely?

Walking the climb isn't as hard when there's thousands
of green-Milo clad crowd to make everything fun.

Descending the Gen.Luna flyover--thousands and thousands of happy feet.

It was such a fun event (my first time) because for the record, Iloilo City registered more than 12thousand runners -- the biggest number of participants outside Manila! That means more kids are going to get more running shoes as Milo undertakes to donate a portion of the registration fee (which was 100pesos for the fun-run category, 500pesos for the 10k and 21k categories) to buy shoes for kids in public schools.

With former PBB housemate Tatang Rudy Fernandez,
himself a  fan of sports events like this.

Running Coah Rio de la Cruz was also there to grace  the event (he is a Milo Marathon coordinator).

Among the many side activities were Nutrition Consultation like these (with a certified Nutritionist giving advice on proper nutrition, and necessary lifestyle changes).

Most of those who joined were school delegates.  But friends and cliques also came in throngs.  Families with school age kids also joined the swarm along with very many yuppies who sported their chicest running gears and gadgets.

Running the last mile towards the finish line.

...and finally making it.

..to be able to claim this coveted Finisher's Certificate
-- with pride.

Finishers in all categories got to receive a certificate but those who finished the 10k and 21k especially in 1.5hrs were also given medals.

Those who finished the half-marathon (21k) within 1.5hrs
 were given their medals.
See? No such thing as senior citizen
when it comes to doing "great things"! =)

Its heart-warming to realize how simple things (in my case, ditching my pessimism and longer snoozetime for some fun Sunday run) can make us savor life's many blessings... Like the breathtaking view of the sea of green -- the Milo singlet-clad crowd who happily filled the streets of our quaint little city, one fine Sunday morn.

And because "great things start from small beginnings," I vow to put my fuchsia trainers to more work -- one small step at a time. ;-) So perhaps I could join the full marathon (at 41k) when I'm 41? Heheh. Who knows? =)

On Changing my Religion

"If I had to change my religious beliefs, I would not marry the person that I love because the first person that I love is God who created me and I have my faith and my principles and this is what makes me who I am. And if that person loves me, he should love my God too."

Image Source

                                                  -Miss Universe 2011 3rd Runner-Up, Shamcey Supsup's answer when asked by pageant judge, Vivica Fox if she would change her religion to marry the man she loves.

Shamcey delivered her answer with full conviction.  And she was impressive.  All throughout the pageantry, she has been very vocal in expressing her faith.  I cannot help but admire her.

I on the other hand, would choose to take the opposite stand: that of changing my religion to marry the man I love.  Religion, to me, is just a label.  I'd like to think all men share a common faith. So changing a religion could not be synonymous with rejecting my faith in the Great Almighty.  No religion is ever complete.  Neither is there any that would guarantee eternal salvation.  But love -- in its truest and purest sense -- is always good.  It is the greatest neutralizer.  The ultimate healer.  The essence of our earthly existence.

One of my favorite verses in the Bible is the dialogue of Ruth and Naomi:

When Naomi heard in Moab that the LORD had come to the aid of his people by providing food for them, she and her daughters-in-law prepared to return home from there. ⁷ With her two daughters-in-law she left the place where she had been living and set out on the road that would take them back to the land of Judah.
 ⁸ Then Naomi said to her two daughters-in-law, “Go back, each of you, to your mother’s home. May the LORD show you kindness, as you have shown kindness to your dead husbands and to me. ⁹ May the LORD grant that each of you will find rest in the home of another husband.”
   Then she kissed them goodbye and they wept aloud ¹⁰ and said to her, “We will go back with you to your people.”
 ¹¹ But Naomi said, “Return home, my daughters. Why would you come with me? Am I going to have any more sons, who could become your husbands? ¹² Return home, my daughters; I am too old to have another husband. Even if I thought there was still hope for me—even if I had a husband tonight and then gave birth to sons— ¹³ would you wait until they grew up? Would you remain unmarried for them? No, my daughters. It is more bitter for me than for you, because the LORD’s hand has turned against me!”
 ¹⁴ At this they wept aloud again. Then Orpah kissed her mother-in-law goodbye, but Ruth clung to her.
 ¹⁵ “Look,” said Naomi, “your sister-in-law is going back to her people and her gods. Go back with her.”
 ¹⁶ But Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. ¹⁷ Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.” ¹⁸ When Naomi realized that Ruth was determined to go with her, she stopped urging her.

Ruth embraced Naomi's faith -- perhaps because of a great inexplicable force that also guided her.  Kahlil Gibran, the great Lebanese writer wrote in his book, "The Prophet":

When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, "I am in the heart of God."  And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

I take pride in Shamcey's victory. And I adore her straight forward answer at the question-and-answer part. She did us all very proud.  I delight in being a citizen of this mostly Catholic country.  But like her, I share my thoughts...

For when "love beckons, I eagerly follow."  Although yes, his ways may be hard and steep...

Rainbow Connection

'Twas drizzling lightly one afternoon (half past 5 already) when I chanced upon this lovely sight:

Yes. Rainbow! For the first time in a long time, I have not had the privilege of seeing a rainbow.  And this is the first time I was actually able to capture its image.

Ahh..breathtaking!

All of a sudden, I realized how mundane my existence has been the past many years now.  When I was a kid, I have always been thrilled at the sight of the rainbow.  When adult life started taking its toll on me, I began to shift my attention to more "serious" things.  And what did it make of me? One mundane existence -- one bereft of simple joys such as..well, seeing a rainbow!  What went wrong?  Was I too distracted (like those ugly cable wires dangling, and old cityscape tainting the beautiful scenic sky)?  Or was my focus elsewhere?

I am now in my mid-30s and on my last birthday, I did heave a sigh of meek sadness and despair.  I've come a long way in this rat-race existence but no, I'm not exactly FULFILLED.

Perhaps, its about time I slow down a bit...to smell the roses and yes, notice rainbows as breathtaking as this...

Afterall, didn't they say life begins at 40 yet? ;-)