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| Twenty-five years after I missed my own elementary graduation, I went up the stage as the commencement speaker. Twenty-five years from now, I wish the graduates I spoke to today will also be able to declare, "I am successful." - not because they have built a huge house, own a fleet of cars, receive a fat paycheck, or possess other superficial indicators of "success." I hope they will be able to say, "I am successful because I am happy with what I do, and I, being here, have made this world so much a better place than it was twenty-five years ago." |
(Transcript of my 2015 Commencement Address.
NO PART OF THIS PIECE MAY BE DELIVERED/REPRODUCED/COPIED WITHOUT MY CONSENT. COPYRIGHT AND INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY LAWS APPLY.)
When I received the invitation to be your commencement speaker, I initially refused. It felt I am just an ordinary person who, by the society’s standard, has not accomplished enough to be proud of, to brag about, or at the very least, to bring my Alma mater pride. But Mrs. A__ who extended the invitation explained that you chose me not because I am an accomplished alumna but because I could inspire.
Then I remembered my idol, United States’ first lady Michelle Obama’s message when she addressed the graduating class of Oregon State University in 2012 when she said, “Success isn’t about how your life looks to others. It’s about how it feels to you. Being successful isn’t about being impressive, it’s about being inspired.” So I accepted the invitation and I am here with you today, not because I am impressive – but because I am inspired.
As you all know, my humble beginnings in this town started when our tiny family moved here from Bicol where I was born, I was only five years old then. My father came from a buena familia in Albay and as such, he never knew how to work. It was our mom who ultimately became the family’s breadwinner with the help of course of our kind-hearted second parents in our Lolo Cenon and Mama Paring.
As a kid, I used to help my mom sell her yummy peanut butter around town, peddling at the tienda, municipio and even the streets of this tiny town. It was always a delight to come home afterwards with my measly income or a kilo or pork or beef which I bartered with a jar of peanut butter. My sisters, all six of us, have been trained to work and to live within our means not as child laborers but as joyful co-workers who helped our sustain our family’s needs.
So how was the knowledge of commerce and trade help us in our adult life? Well in my case, I never really liked numbers (you can ask Mrs. Poli and Ma’am Salmo [my math teachers then) so I shied away from trade and commerce as much as possible. But those childhood experiences taught some very valuable lessons: I am not afraid of the streets. I am not afraid of people. I am not afraid to be poor. I can be self-sufficient.
I was a freshgrad when I went to the University of _____ in ____ City to teach in college. I was 20 years old. Having graduated from _______University, I had a culture shock in _____. Aside from the fact that many of my students were rich kids, I was further intimidated by a few foreign-borne ones. I swear their English was impeccable, their appearances, thwarting. Just barely a week of being there I received the invitation to teach at the University of _____where I eventually chose to spend the first twelve years of my adult life as a college instructor.
There I gained so many more life lessons which otherwise, I would not perhaps learned from teaching rich kids. Many of my students were a lot older than me. Such fact taught me to have deeper respect for those who struggle to achieve a degree notwithstanding poverty, marriage, a challenged career, and other personal issues. I had students who were house-helpers, police-officers, office clerks, security guards. Each had a story to tell.
One of my most unforgettable lessons was in Speech Communication. I was explaining how essential communication is so I asked them how many of them kiss their parents, bless them, say sorry when they did something wrong, or “iloveyou” when needed. In a class of 50, there’s hardly five of them who do. Isn’t that sad? I had to ask them, do you ever give your mom flowers on their birthday? Even ones which you picked from their very own garden? Hardly anyone does. So may I ask you, dear parents who are here, what kind of home have you created for your kids? Do you think of them when they are in school? Do you pray for them when they are out of sight? Do you hold them when they are afraid? Because you see, I learned our children will never outgrow their need for us. Never. If we create a loving and nurturing environment for them, that tendency to spread love and compassion around them will remain all throughout their lives. We don’t need a tragedy to learn that love is all that matters and our family will always be there for us no matter what. So if there relationships that we need to nurture, it should commence in the family.
I left teaching to explore other career options in 2010. I’ve been blessed to serve the Philippine Mediation Center where I sit to help conflicting parties who have filed cases against each other resolve their issues. My most difficult cases are those of siblings fighting for a parcel of land and have declared severing their ties for all eternity if their demands are not met. It makes me especially sad to think how children born of the same parents, who practically ate from the same table, came from the same womb, would be willing to kill each other for some parcel of land.
Do you remember the Disney movie, “Frozen”? It’s also one of my favorites. You see I realized that like Elsa, I am blessed to have several "Annas" in my life -- my five younger sisters. Time and time again they have showed me "acts of true love." Maybe not the kind that Anna did in the movie to spare her sister Elsa's life, but my sisters have expressed great acts of valor, of compassion, of understanding, of acceptance and of forgiveness which perhaps, in my lifetime, I could never ever repay. I will forever be grateful to have them in my life...afterall, they are also my true loves! Dear children, do you love your siblings? If you do, always hold on to that. Remember the dreams you wove with your siblings when you were young, the little promises you gave each other so that when you are adults, nothing, especially materialism should ruin your ties.
After I left teaching, I was also happy to pursue one of my passions which is writing. I do content writing online writing e-book or e-zine articles. One time, one very close friend requested that I write an oratorical piece for her student. Modesty aside, I have trained champion contestants and wrote winning declamation and oratorical pieces even as a teacher. So when this teacher friend attended the competition with her student who memorized the piece I wrote for them, they were shocked to hear that the very first contestant who was from another town was delivering the very piece which I wrote for my the representative of San Miguel! My friend, the coach, complained of course and found out that the student actually only got the piece from the web and chanced upon my blogpost where I published such piece!
The bottom line is, they never had an idea that the post they got from the internet and which they presumably presented as an "original" for the competition was actually written by someone from their neighboring town of San Miguel – supposedly for the contestant representing San Miguel! Anyways, the matter was settled. I did not bother make a formal complaint anymore on copyright infringement despite my copyright warning on my site because the coach, the faculty of said school approached me as well as the staff of our highschool to formally extend their apologies. Good thing our contestant for whom the piece was made won and theirs, the copycat, didn’t.
Now why am I sharing this with you? With the proliferation of technology and the very easy access to information which is right at our finger tips, people seemed to have lost respect already for the printed words. Please understand that anything you copy from someone, even those which you copy from someone else’s diary, or to the teachers, from your student’s composition entries, all those should be valued and esteemed highly. When we lose respect for other people’s outputs, other people’s efforts, other people’s creativity, we lower our standards and treat everything around us with mediocrity. Nothing anymore becomes special, or spectacular. So what is left? A jaded existence.
When I worked with the Department of Labor and Employment, there was an employer who came to the office complaining why they must be compelled to pay the minimum wage for their employees who have not even finished high school (or elementary). I was handling their case so consequently, I faced them. The minimum wage is 284pesos but they only give 100pesos to their employees. Their establishment was clearly violating the minimum wage law. Given that they intentionally picked elementary graduates only, they believed it’s unfair to include these “inferior” workers from the minimum wage bracket given their “inferior” qualifications. I was flabbergasted! How does one change another’s notion of fairness and equality? The minimum wage cannot even decently support a family of four, or of three, or of two! Do “unaccomplished” people need fewer meals in a day? Require lesser roof above their head? Lead lesser lives?
Ladies and gentlemen, bigotry is a disease. And indifference is man’s most serious affliction. Sometimes when we feel we are supreme above others and treat the rest as lesser beings, priding in the thought that we are more successful, more powerful, more blessed, we wake up to realize we are afterall living a miserable life. True success isn’t about having everything. It’s about wanting everything you have. It’s about extending what you have. It’s about seeing a piece of yourself in everything you extend to others.
My dear friends, I wish twenty five years from now, these graduates will be able to say, “I am successful.” Not because they have built a huge house, own a fleet of cars, receive a fat paycheck, and possess other superficial indicators of success. I hope these kids will be able to say “I am successful because I am happy in what I do, and I, being here, has made this world is so much a better place than it was twenty five years ago.”
Congratulations my dear graduates, parents, and may we all lead good lives henceforth.
